Nothing much

Finally got some picture of Kensley on her 6th Birthday and a picture of her on the very first day of Kindergarten! Even though they are a week apart. Can't you see that she has grown up a little bit more? Maybe it is just the hair do.

Kensley's Birthday

Busy week.
Sunday we had a family Birthday party for Kensley and today, her real Birthday, we took her two friends Carlie S and Carly B to Chuck E Cheeses along with Aunt Debbie and Zachary.

They had fun eating pizza and cupcakes, playing the games and getting pictures playing. Three hours later they were sad to go. Kensley got spoiled and I hope she had a great Birthday.

We even had to take Kaylen to the doctor and Kensley talked about her Birthday there to everyone and showed off her new ear piercings.

Hard to believe my baby is 6 and going to Kindergarten. Seems like she was just born.

Feed them to the Lions!

I guess it is just the fact that I have been there before. Or maybe it is hearing the voice over the Jr. High Schools intercom and realizing that the voice, one I had heard before a long time ago, brought a lot of lost memories that I wished would stay boxed up. The voice belongs to Kysons School principle that happens to have been my Vice Principle in High School. I Know! Very crude!

I feel like I sent my son into the lion’s den by sending him off to 7th grade today. Worst of all, he would not let me take him there and he left his cell phone so I had no contact with him until he was home. I worried sick all day. Did he make it? Did he find his friends? Did he make it to his classes? Did he find his classes?

Then there was Kaylen. Who for the last 10 days has done nothing but cry in anguish over the thought of having the teacher assigned to her for 5th grade? According to Kaylen's friends who have had this teacher in the past, she is very mean. And unfair, and yells and everybody does not like her and she eats in front of her class all year long! Gasp! I hardly cared about most of the rumors, and told Kaylen she had two choices.. "Go in with a Positive attitude, or go in with a negative one. Either one you choose, your going in."

The elementary school this year had back to school night this morning before school. So, I went to Kaylens class first. Introduced myself to her new teacher. (The teacher already new Kaylen from science from last year.) Then the following words came out of my mouth, " You know the last 10 days has been pretty bad. Kaylen has really been dreading this day."

Teacher: "Why? Because of 5th grade or because of me?"
Me: "Well, both"
Kaylen is horrified at this point and chimes in... "I have heard rumors..."
Me: "Yes we have heard rumors and Kaylen and I have discussed these rumors and decided that we can't believe everything that we hear, so we will be coming to your class and look forward to a great year."
Teacher: "Well, I hope we plan to have fun this year, Kaylen do you want to stay in class with me before school starts?"
Me: "I have to go to two other classes and she wants to see her friends class so she will be back."

Then we left.

Kaylens friend and Kelsey were waiting for us. Kaylen turns to her friends.. "That was so embarrassing!"
Friend .. "What?"
Me "I told Kaylens teacher that we have heard rumors and that Kaylen was not excited to be coming to her class. Did I hurt her?"
Friend.. "OH WoW! That would be so embarrassing!"
Me.. Shocked utterly, I thought I did her a favor!!
Now the rest of my day WORRIED that I made a mistake with Kaylen.

Thank heavens, Kelsey had Kyson's old teacher, and all was well there. And Kensley went with OMA, and from what I hear they had a blast.

So I leave my kids and go to work. And, I have to say, I was emotionally upset. Worried about my sweet boy, all alone, eating his lunch, lost without his friends. And Kaylen to be left embarrassed and scared of her teacher even more. WHAT HAVE I DONE!

I did not even feel this emotional when I had to send my first child Kyson to Kindergarten, it was a joyful thing. And this year I have them all in school and I am so upset that I have fed them to the lions.

Once 3PM hit I left work for lunch, speed home to find, all smiling, excited and had a great day.

Me? Now after balling all day, how do I change to happy and excited for them? It is such a switch around. I think age has taken over my ability to change emotions quickly.

Kyson, he did walk to school with his friends and had lots of people he knew from other schools and ate lunch with a group of friends. And he will not stop speaking in Spanish.

Kaylen, thanked me for talking to her teacher!!! Said that she was really nice to her and that when she talked to some kids in her class at recess who said they were so afraid of this teacher, and Kaylen told them what I had done. They all told Kaylen that they were glad that I said something, so she felt glad to have me for a mom.

I cannot count how many prayers I offered today in my heart all day long. I can say, the angels really do hold the mouths of the lions. My babies are home safe, happy and Oh boy... We have to do this tomorrow?!??!!!

Just Thinking of My Miracles

I went on a walk last night, by myself and with no iPod. I rounded the corner of the track and was facing West. The sun was setting and a couple stars were starting to appear. Just as I looked up at the sky, I caught right in front of me the sight of a gliding white light with this pink center. A shooting star. I could not have had better timing in my position of facing it. It was something that you do not see every day.

It got me thinking of other miracles I have witnessed.

Driving to work, a flash of lightning hit the power line in front of my car. That was right in front of me but a few feet. Amazing sight to see the power and the strength.

Seeing Haley's Commit when I was a child. My dad woke me up at 4AM and took me to a place where they had all these telescopes set up. .

The birth of my third child who was a perfect pregnancy, I was very active, yet when she was born we found that she was just inches away from death due to the way the main blood line grew on the wrong side of the placenta. I felt very humbled and blessed, because my pregnancy with her I had two other children sitting and bouncing on my belly and they could have at any time caused it to rupture.

Being with my dad at the doctors as he was told he had no choice but to go on dialysis or die, and then having my sister fight to have them give him a transplant and then her being the absolute perfect match for him. 6 years later he is doing great.

Speaking of dad, I was told at a young age that he was to going to die and only had a few years left to live. A lot of my childhood I was scared of the day that I may loose him. Seeing him today as the OPA to my children. They all four spend time with him every week, they all have a relationship with him. Even my kids friends call him OPA! He is a walking miracle.

Miracle of learning Service by having someone serve me. Last pregnancy was a mess with all my broken bones and early labor problems. But I was overwhelmed to have my friends and family take care of me and my families needs.

The spirits prompting. Which has saved my families life. By prompting both Matt and I to turn off the Water Heater. The next morning revealed that the thermostat was broken on it. It was up in the trailers and it was a very old water heater. A miracle made only because we listened to the prompt.

The houses. Need I say more. In a downed market, we were able to sell them. It was a miracle to come out without having a mark on our credit or a foreclosure.

Having been born to my mother. Who as a child had the miracle of living through WWII. She had escaping the iron curtain with her mother and father. After witnessing much death and destruction. She made it here to Utah, met my dad and now I am because of her great miracles.

There are probably way more that I cant recall at this moment, or that I fail to acknowledge. But at least I know that they still exist on earth. And they are in my life as I am sure they are in yours.

24th Of July

It all started based off the fun we had up at the Lot over the 4th of July. So, in an attempt to duplicate the enjoyed 4th, we decided to take the Kids and two of their friends back up to the lot over the 24th of July. We had a late start Thursday night, with a huge delay in Evanston WY. My new impression of Evanston WY has been altered. Getting our Groceries for the weekend at Walmart took way longer due to the lack of desire to check out our groceries in a expected timely manner. But no, we were wrong to assume. I could tell this checker got paid by the hour so why work any faster than the clock. Right? Then off to Mc Donalds, where it took over 25 minutes to get our food. But was very entertaining to hear the other customers upset and and yelling at the managers and demanding there money back. Was time consuming but worth it when the kids all mentioned that they could not believe the work ethics of the employees there. :)

We arrived at the trailers around 11:30PM. Matt and the boys sleep in one trailer, Me and the girls in the other. (Or if you can call giggling and laughing tell 3AM sleeping).

We had a blast with the kids. I think the highlight for them was when the Van couldn't make it up to Whitney Lake and so we put them all in the back of the old truck and put it into 4wd and off the dirt roads we went. They loved it! The rest of the weekend was them begging for more off road riding in Matts truck.

First thing the kids did at Whitney, was jump into the lake. This confused me a bit because I realized that they had not brought a change of cloths with them. Lovely. The rest of the time at Whitney was short because, well, after getting out of the Lake, with Long pants on is not a pleasant feeling for the darlings. But the ride back in the back of dads truck was. So you later that night after the they came in for the night, it was everyone in your swim suits and then into the shower to wash off the mud that was now dried to them and what ever yucky things that they picked up in that lake.

Next day was Saturday, and off to Boy Scout Lake with the girls and Matt took the boys Fly fishing. Girls caught two fish, boys 5. Hey not bad considering I was the one setting up the hooks and bate, and having to un tangle 3 reals because my sweet girls kept forgetting to cast and then lock the line back. Lost a few fish and a few hooks, but all in all it keep us busy for those 5 hours. And, busy means you can't feel yourself frying in the sun. So around 3PM I called Matt on the radios.. "We girls are on Fire!! Time to go!"

Kyson and his friend talked about how they loved the fly fishing. Matt was casting away and felt a tug. Thankfully when he felt the snag he did not fling the rod forward. He knew he had hooked something but what. 10 yards behind him was Kyson, who was asking his friend, "Hey, why did you just slap me." Friend, " I am over here I did not slap you." Kyson reply calmly"Ouch...Ouch... Ouch..." Matt had hooked our son through the eyebrow. They got a good laugh. Matt cut the line and then worked out the hook. I hear he was a sight to see. Kyson has really bushy eyebrows anyway, so when you add a fuzzy white fly to it, I hear he looked like he had old mans eyebrows :).

Sleep in the Middle

If I seem a little tired this week it is because I am. Matt and Kyson are off to scout camp. I was looking forward to a week of the bed all to myself.... However, the girls have something else in mind. It started with Kensley tip toeing into my room at 1AM, "Mommy, can I sleep on daddy's side?" Who can argue that early in the morning. The next night, in come Kelsey at 12AM with Kensley saying, "Move over I dubs the middle!". Lovely.

I wake up every morning to some aches and pains from the knees and hands in my back and face. However, waking up and watching them both sleeping peacefully is a beauty not to be described. Lucky me. I wonder if Kaylen will join us tonight?

3rd, 4th and 5th of July 2010

Nothing Like spending time up at the family lot with the kids, grandparents and lots of fish and food. Was a busy 4th of July 2010.

Started Saturday with early morning parade, then off to breakfast, home to get dressed. Attend a baptism in Morgan and then down the mountain to Famington to attend another baptism. Then off to the store to get food for camping and then up to Huntsville to watch fireworks. Go home, sleep. Wake up Sunday and it is church them home to pack and up to the mountains we go. Fish all day Monday and then home by 10PM.

This week work I am glad I have been busy because it has kept me awake.

Kelsey had a Birthday shout "Hurray!"

Kelsey's Birthday party was a last minute affair that turned out wonderfully. Thanks to her friends. She decided Sunday that she wanted a sleep over party at a local hotel where she could swim and watch movies. A bit much money, however, if I added up the cost to feed girls breakfast, take them to a local swimming pool and then to a movie, turns out the Hotel room for one night was 6's. So I booked the room (a family sweet! nothing is too good for our Fufu). Then after work on Monday. Off we went with a car load of 8 giggling girls and Me! First stop. Dinner at Apple b's where it was an awesome deal night. They were having kids meals just 2.99!!! So we ate royal at a bargin price. Then back to the hotel where we through on our swim suits and swam until 9:45PM. Then off to our room to open presents by 10:15PM and got in our PJ's and rented a still in theater movie "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" while we painted our nails and toenails and chowed down on all of Kelsey's favorite snack foods! Ya, I felt like a pretty nice mom. She had a great time. But sad that a few of her friends where out of town.

Last night, was Sunday. One of the girls called Kelsey and Kaylen and said she wants them to come to her house for a birthday Sleep over Monday. She runs on the same time we do :) lol. Of course they can come. After work it is straight to buy a gift, pack them up and send them off for the night so I can rest. Now what to do with the Little boy and little girl? :)

Moody

I am old enough to realize that when I recognize I am in a bad mood, it has far been apparent to everyone else around me for some time. So I admit it. Lately, I have been in a very bad mood. The questions is now that I realize it how do I correct it? Breath in and out, all I have to do is inhale.. exhale. Close my eyes, look the other way and pretend I did not see or hear the kids fighting and just inhale and exhale. That is all I came up with so far.

How it Feels

How it feels causes a sting in my eye, and uncontrollable tear. A burning lodged in my heart. How I can be fine for one moment and then unable to speak, choked by the lump is How it feels. This is how it feels when I think of "T" (Short for Travis). Matt's life long friend and cousin passed away Friday afternoon. His birthday was Saturday. He leaves behind the most amazing wife and the most adorable 4 children. I ache for them all. Please keep them in your prayers. They are forever in my thoughts and prayers.

Best Mothers Day Gift

Tonight, I have to write about the best mothers day gift. Earlier today, Kaylen told me that they were making a special gift for moms at school today. "But they don't cost any money" she said with a sad look on her face. I told her the best gifts in life are the ones that you get that no money can buy. Later, I got that gift when I kissed Kensley and Kelsey good night. As I closed their bedroom door, Kensley said to me, "Mommy, I love you every single day!" I told her I loved her every day and eternity. She said, "I will even love you when I die." I told her I would do the same. Then I closed their door. And when she thought I had walked away, I heard her tell Kelsey, "I really do love mom, every single day I love her." Kelsey quickly responded that she does the same, and for a few moments they went back and forth declaring their love for me. Priceless!

Family Friends and Fun

Many Thanks to our awesome friends for a great night last night. BBQ and Pot luck always award winning combo. I am always amazed at the great friends that Matt and I have. It must be luck because we are not worthy of such awesome people, but we are very blessed.

Now on to me thinking of things going on... Kyson earlier this year had a Ball Room Dance meet and he and his dance partner took Best in Tango out of three schools! Kaylen is always a great help. Except for today when she told me three times that I need to do the laundry! I know I need to do it, but just been too busy. Maybe because today is Matt and my 14th Wedding Ann. So last weekend we spend a night at the same hotel and exact room that we stayed on our Honeymoon. It was so nice to get away with my BFF and get some R&R. Seems like when you take time off during the week Laundry always gets backed up. Kaylen did have her 4th grade program on UTAH that she was beautiful in. She danced and got to hold up a prop.

Kelsey is amazing at what ever she tries. She loves the monkey bars and is awesome at dance, even though she doesn't like it. She and Kensley love to go out on the tramp and do flips. Kelsey has issues with her teeth. When she gets her Perm teeth in, her baby teeth don't fallout. Recently we named her primary canine tooth EGOR, because it stuck out of her mouth when her lips were closed. She went in for a cleaning and the dentist just pulled the tooth without even asking because he told her that will never come out on it's own. She was kind of sad because she really liked "EGOR" (the tooth). We had to ask the tooth fairy to leave it behind because Kelsey did not want to loose him.

Kensley, still not ready for kindergarten, but going to be six this year, so off she goes. She is super funny with all that she thinks and says. She hates Nuts and peanut butter. The other day she gave Matt a container full of Hersey Kisses. She told Matt, "here daddy, some candy. There is a nut in there for you." Matt the next day opened the container to find some Almond Hersey Kisses with one Almond that had had the chocolate sucked off it and placed as if he would enjoy it with the other chocolate kisses. As if he would never know that it had been used.

First day of school landed on Kensley's 5th birthday. So since I am holding her back tell next year, She and I took a day off and played while Kyson, Kaylen, and Kelsey had to go to school. Kensley and her friend and I went to the Tree house museum and had a blast for her birthday. She was so cute.

For Labor day we spent the day in the Mountains at the trailers, did some four wheeling and Matt took Kyson and Kaylen Fishing. Kyson and Kaylen both cleaned out their own fish. I was supper proud of them. I can't say that I would ever willingly clean out a fish!

Thirty minutes of Family Prayer

Tonight took us 30 minutes to say family prayer. When the kids were gathering to our bed Matt was laying downl. Kaylen came to his feet and was holding them down. Kaylen said, " You can't defeat me." Matt responded, "You have been de-footed". In which Kensley responded, "but you cant de-feet me!" At which point we all busted out laughing because I told them all "There will be no de-footing or de-feeting!" Good thing for moms! Afterwords, Matt asked me to say the family prayer, which I tried several times, I actually began once, but I heard several giggles and could not go on. I told Matt "I tried, now I have to repent. Could you please say it for me?" So he began and met the same failure. Matt then decided to turn it over to Kyson. And thank heavens he was the hero tonight! After 30 minutes of attempting family prayer, Kyson made it through a prayer, blessing the food twice and asking that we could be good at least two or three times. But he did it with out a giggle and he saved the family prayer!

Tonight for family night, we took the kids down to temple square in salt lake city. A place Matt and I have been to several times before, but I think it has been well over 6 years since we last went. It did not seem like to long ago for Matt and I, however the kids found utter delight there. We walked around the out sides of the temple grounds and even Kyson and Kaylen was in awe over how peaceful it felt to be near the temple. And to see the Angel Moroni on top. And to read the words written on the temple and to touch the temple walls that were carved from stone. The kids wanted to know about how the pioneers carved the stone, how they got it there, how they carved the doors and the door knobs. They kept telling me about how good it feels to be there. Then we went to the visitor centers and spent more time then I thought going through the many learning activities, there was a family home evening lesson on every wall in the whole building. I was amazed myself. Wondering why I had not taken my children there. Of course we only went to show them the temple grounds, but there was so much more to see and do that we left at dark. We had to skip going to get a treat because the kids did not want to leave. As we left the temple grounds and stepped onto the streets of Salt Lake City and started walking towards the Car, Kyson mentioned said, "Mom, that feeling is slowly leaving me the farther away we get from it." Kaylen also made mention of it. How great that it was for them to see and feel and participate hands on in learning that the temple is a Holy Place, a place for peace, a place to feel Joy and Happiness. Thus, my joy and happiness moment was found today. (Kensleys was too, however she did get lost as we walked out of the visitors center and some how we managed to walk a short distance before we noticed she was missing. It didn't take long to look in through the windows to see a panic stricken 4 year old who realized her family was not around. She was a bit upset and shaken, and she only wanted mom to hold her, a little smile came on my face. I picked her up all was well again.)

My Thoughts

Lately, I have been hearing a lot of talks in church about finding joy and happiness in life. Hum, why is this seem so difficult to me? I am not a depressed person, I just don't concider myself as a happy person. I am more one of those who wakes up in the morning and pray that the day will go by fast so that I can climb back into bed.

About 4 years ago, I recall having a conversation with my husband in which I told him how I felt. I remember telling him I am not happy. Nothing that he could do about it, but I have struggled with this subject just about every day. I think that daily tasks on my list of things to do just get so great, and I have just not learned to completely let things go. Daily, the list would bog me down tell I would get frustrated with my kids, my husband and my life. Every night, I would not go to bed until my list of things to do for that day was completed. Then, as other things came up, I would have to squeeze them in-between. Why can't I find happiness in that I have a family to do them for and a body that allows me to do it?

So, last night, I decided to go into my older childrens bed room and just lay next to them in bed, to take a moment at a time when they were quiet, still, and peaceful, maybe I could find my joy there... As I lay watching Kaylen, I took a deep breath and told myself to find joy in this soon to be 10 year old girl. Then it hit me, she is growing out of this childs body fast. Look how she sleeps, she still drools on her pillow like she did as a baby, (I smiled), then she picked up her arm and started scratching a patch of eczema. (She had fought with eczema most her life and I thought she has had it under control). I watched as she scratched and then rolled back over. The next morning she woke up and explained that she was bleeding on her arm. Hum. I then told her it was because she had scratched herself at night. She asked me how I new. I told her because I watched her do it. She and Kesley both started to giggle. (I smiled).

Also last night I went into my 11 year olds sons room, he was awake, he always is because he has trouble sleeping. I laid there and he asked me to sing him the "Cherry Song", his favorite lullaby that I used to hum to all my babies when I fed them or held them to sleep. "Sure" I said and sang the song as I tickled his face softly. I then began to think, take a moment and find the joy in this child. I thought came to me.. "soon this soft childs face will have the bumps of acne and ruff prickle of a 5 O'clock shadow." (I smiled) and began to allow my fingertips to softly glide around his cheeks, eyes and cute nose, feeling how smooth and perfect his skin is and his perfect shape of his face.

Be what it may, lastnight, although very late and tiered, I forced myself out of bed to claim my days worth of joy and happiness. Busy life, never ending to do list are always there, but if I can find something to bring me joy or happiness once a day, maybe from there I can learn to extended it out to an every moment, every second occurance. As with most things, baby steps.

A Week full of Sorrow

Seems like everyday this week has been some sad news, I lost track of how many deaths I have heard of in the news this week. The ones that stick out the most are the 5 children ranging from just over 1 to 11. My heart breaks for their families. It seems like this week the Lord is truly strengthening his army.

Night at home

Oma was nice to take the kids to a movie tonight, and she is letting them spend the night. Yahoo! NOT, got home late from work, did the laundry and have to be to work early in the morning. The kids are most likely the ones getting the best deal out of the situation. At least now I get some time to post on the blog. Oh and on a happy note, we got cement today, Now that is worth being excited for, now we can actually have two cars in our drive way.