First day of school landed on Kensley's 5th birthday. So since I am holding her back tell next year, She and I took a day off and played while Kyson, Kaylen, and Kelsey had to go to school. Kensley and her friend and I went to the Tree house museum and had a blast for her birthday. She was so cute.

For Labor day we spent the day in the Mountains at the trailers, did some four wheeling and Matt took Kyson and Kaylen Fishing. Kyson and Kaylen both cleaned out their own fish. I was supper proud of them. I can't say that I would ever willingly clean out a fish!

Thirty minutes of Family Prayer

Tonight took us 30 minutes to say family prayer. When the kids were gathering to our bed Matt was laying downl. Kaylen came to his feet and was holding them down. Kaylen said, " You can't defeat me." Matt responded, "You have been de-footed". In which Kensley responded, "but you cant de-feet me!" At which point we all busted out laughing because I told them all "There will be no de-footing or de-feeting!" Good thing for moms! Afterwords, Matt asked me to say the family prayer, which I tried several times, I actually began once, but I heard several giggles and could not go on. I told Matt "I tried, now I have to repent. Could you please say it for me?" So he began and met the same failure. Matt then decided to turn it over to Kyson. And thank heavens he was the hero tonight! After 30 minutes of attempting family prayer, Kyson made it through a prayer, blessing the food twice and asking that we could be good at least two or three times. But he did it with out a giggle and he saved the family prayer!

Tonight for family night, we took the kids down to temple square in salt lake city. A place Matt and I have been to several times before, but I think it has been well over 6 years since we last went. It did not seem like to long ago for Matt and I, however the kids found utter delight there. We walked around the out sides of the temple grounds and even Kyson and Kaylen was in awe over how peaceful it felt to be near the temple. And to see the Angel Moroni on top. And to read the words written on the temple and to touch the temple walls that were carved from stone. The kids wanted to know about how the pioneers carved the stone, how they got it there, how they carved the doors and the door knobs. They kept telling me about how good it feels to be there. Then we went to the visitor centers and spent more time then I thought going through the many learning activities, there was a family home evening lesson on every wall in the whole building. I was amazed myself. Wondering why I had not taken my children there. Of course we only went to show them the temple grounds, but there was so much more to see and do that we left at dark. We had to skip going to get a treat because the kids did not want to leave. As we left the temple grounds and stepped onto the streets of Salt Lake City and started walking towards the Car, Kyson mentioned said, "Mom, that feeling is slowly leaving me the farther away we get from it." Kaylen also made mention of it. How great that it was for them to see and feel and participate hands on in learning that the temple is a Holy Place, a place for peace, a place to feel Joy and Happiness. Thus, my joy and happiness moment was found today. (Kensleys was too, however she did get lost as we walked out of the visitors center and some how we managed to walk a short distance before we noticed she was missing. It didn't take long to look in through the windows to see a panic stricken 4 year old who realized her family was not around. She was a bit upset and shaken, and she only wanted mom to hold her, a little smile came on my face. I picked her up all was well again.)

My Thoughts

Lately, I have been hearing a lot of talks in church about finding joy and happiness in life. Hum, why is this seem so difficult to me? I am not a depressed person, I just don't concider myself as a happy person. I am more one of those who wakes up in the morning and pray that the day will go by fast so that I can climb back into bed.

About 4 years ago, I recall having a conversation with my husband in which I told him how I felt. I remember telling him I am not happy. Nothing that he could do about it, but I have struggled with this subject just about every day. I think that daily tasks on my list of things to do just get so great, and I have just not learned to completely let things go. Daily, the list would bog me down tell I would get frustrated with my kids, my husband and my life. Every night, I would not go to bed until my list of things to do for that day was completed. Then, as other things came up, I would have to squeeze them in-between. Why can't I find happiness in that I have a family to do them for and a body that allows me to do it?

So, last night, I decided to go into my older childrens bed room and just lay next to them in bed, to take a moment at a time when they were quiet, still, and peaceful, maybe I could find my joy there... As I lay watching Kaylen, I took a deep breath and told myself to find joy in this soon to be 10 year old girl. Then it hit me, she is growing out of this childs body fast. Look how she sleeps, she still drools on her pillow like she did as a baby, (I smiled), then she picked up her arm and started scratching a patch of eczema. (She had fought with eczema most her life and I thought she has had it under control). I watched as she scratched and then rolled back over. The next morning she woke up and explained that she was bleeding on her arm. Hum. I then told her it was because she had scratched herself at night. She asked me how I new. I told her because I watched her do it. She and Kesley both started to giggle. (I smiled).

Also last night I went into my 11 year olds sons room, he was awake, he always is because he has trouble sleeping. I laid there and he asked me to sing him the "Cherry Song", his favorite lullaby that I used to hum to all my babies when I fed them or held them to sleep. "Sure" I said and sang the song as I tickled his face softly. I then began to think, take a moment and find the joy in this child. I thought came to me.. "soon this soft childs face will have the bumps of acne and ruff prickle of a 5 O'clock shadow." (I smiled) and began to allow my fingertips to softly glide around his cheeks, eyes and cute nose, feeling how smooth and perfect his skin is and his perfect shape of his face.

Be what it may, lastnight, although very late and tiered, I forced myself out of bed to claim my days worth of joy and happiness. Busy life, never ending to do list are always there, but if I can find something to bring me joy or happiness once a day, maybe from there I can learn to extended it out to an every moment, every second occurance. As with most things, baby steps.

A Week full of Sorrow

Seems like everyday this week has been some sad news, I lost track of how many deaths I have heard of in the news this week. The ones that stick out the most are the 5 children ranging from just over 1 to 11. My heart breaks for their families. It seems like this week the Lord is truly strengthening his army.

Night at home

Oma was nice to take the kids to a movie tonight, and she is letting them spend the night. Yahoo! NOT, got home late from work, did the laundry and have to be to work early in the morning. The kids are most likely the ones getting the best deal out of the situation. At least now I get some time to post on the blog. Oh and on a happy note, we got cement today, Now that is worth being excited for, now we can actually have two cars in our drive way.